Just The F.A.Q.

Q: So what's your name again? A: Opus Moreschi
Q: Isn't that a bit of a weird name? A: Yes. Yes, it is.
Q: Where did you get that weird name?

A: Do you really want to know this?

Q: I wouldn't be asking if I didn't, now would I?

A: Okay. Well, as a small wee child, I was the sort of twitchy little kid who was allergic to almost anything. One of the things I was allergic to was scotch-guard, the stain-resistant goop they put on new furniture and clothing. It would make my face break out in a bumpy rash.

Well, on the first day of summer camp, everybody was given their special camp T-shirts to put on. Except I had a special note from my father saying I wasn't allowed to wear the T-shirts until they were washed three times.

That day I happened to be wearing a T-Shirt with a cartoon penguin on it with the name "Opus." Now, 20 years later, it's stuck on me like a baby dipped in super-glue.

Q: How old are you? A: 28.
Q: Height? A: 6' 4"
Q: Preferred Oatmeal Topping: A: Brown Sugar.
Q: Where did you grow up? I'm an air force step-brat. Which means I grew up in Connecticut, Germany, Belgium, Colorado, and probably a few other places I've forgotten.
Q: What do you do? I'm a teevee writer. I write hillarious jokes for late night television. In the past I've written for Craig Kilborn and Tom Green.
Q: Wait... do I know you from somewhere? A: When I was working for Craig Kilborn I was used on the air in sketches and whatnot. I had hopes this would help me meet women. Then I found out that in the entire United States of America, not one woman has ever watched Craig Kilborn.
Q: What was the name of that girl? In middle school? You remember, with the glasses? A: Martha Bootle.
Q: Where can I see you in action? A: Okay, that's a creepy question. But I've got an answer. I perform as part of a sketch comedy troupe called The B-Team. Check out our website for more details.
Q: Who do you support in the 2004 presidential election? A: I am currently wavering between Howard Dean and Wesley Clark.
Q: Do people really frequently ask you questions? A: No. I lead a sad, lonely life.