Saturday, March 26, 2005

The Fabulous Henderbonk 


Lauren Loves Ducks
Originally uploaded by opusmo.
Apparently, I'm about ten years too old and two limbs too mobile to make it in Hollywood.

My friend Lauren is a spirited, intelligent, movie-loving young lass who's already planning to take Hollywood by storm. (As pictured at right, she is in talks with a group of ducks to option their life story for two sacks of breadcrumbs and a pretzel.)

I met Lauren when I was working at the Starbright Foundation, a nonprofit that helps sick kids. Thursday night, she was a guest speaker at a fundraising dinner for Starbright.

Her charms know no bounds because as this article shows she has scored a friendship and future working relationship with none other than Steven Speilberg. With nothing more than a wheelchair and a wink, she's already catapulted past most aspiring filmmakers in this town.

So bravo to Lauren, I say! Hoorah and hooray! Move that wheelchair aside so I can start kissing your ass - you'll be running Hollywood before I know it.

--opus

posted by opus  at 9:19 AM

Friday, March 25, 2005

I was poking around a site when I noticed an add for earphones which was addressing me by name. I started to get a little pissed off - what security loophole had I overlooked that allowed these guys to actually figure out my first name and automatically insert it into their adds.

To research further, I went over to their website in order to figure out who these bastards are and how they got my personal information.

Turns out they're just a nice company who named their earphones "The Opus Earphones.". Now I feel like maybe I should buy some. They're already personalized.

--opus

posted by opus  at 1:09 PM

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Another Surreal Morning In Hollywood 


Ducks In A Row
Originally uploaded by opusmo.
Sunday morning, I woke up and heard the vague thumping of house music in the distance. Better than the accordian-straining tex-mex that sometimes gets blasted from passing cars, I mostly ignored it.

Then I walked out my door and saw, over on Santa Monica, some sort of fair. I bemoaned the fact that I was already late, because I enjoy fairs. And cotten candy.

Then I began to walk to my car. That's when I noticed there were gay men EVERYWHERE. You may ask why I assumed they were gay men. I usually am not a person for snap judgements, but when you see a team of fellas walking towards you, each wearing assless chaps and a black leather vest with no shirt, holding hands... well, if they were straight, they were extremely comfortable with their sexuality.

I did not have my camera with me, so imagine the ducks pictured here are very very gay men.

I moved from West Hollywood, a city that has a pride rainbow as part of it's flag, to Silverlake, where I live a few blocks from a gay bookstore. So I'm completely comfortable with seeing gay guys walking around. But what confused me is why, suddenly, on an otherwise sleepy Sunday morning, there were hundreds of them, roaming gangs of gay guys, strutting their fabulousness in every direction I could see.

Later, as I was driving away, I noticed a poster on a lamppost. It was an ad for the "2005 Los Angeles Leather Street Fair."

I'm glad to live in a city where even leather-loving homosexuals get their own fair. Now when is the 2005 Nerdy Tie-wearing Heterosexual Boy Street Fair?

--opus

posted by opus  at 11:34 AM

Monday, March 14, 2005

A Wee Brush WIth Celebrity 


CIMG1021.JPG
Originally uploaded by opusmo.
The other night I was meeting my new improv troupe at the Cat & Fiddle for drinks. I head to the restroom to pee, and as I'm finishing up in comes the fella who played Gareth Keenan on The Office. The Office, for those who do not know, is a British sitcom that is undoubtedly one of the most brilliant things ever produced for television and living proof that my chosen medium doesn't need to be all intestine-eating reality shows and hootchie-makeover daytime TV. Needless to say, I am a fan. I didn't say anything because I have some issues talking to a guy when there is a penis in my hand or his.

So I return to my table, and I tell everybody that I just peed next to Gareth from The Office. Being comedy nerds one and all, they are understandably excited. An hour of drinks and conversation passes. I need to pee again. John says "Say hi to Gareth while you're in there"

I go back into the bathroom. Gareth is still there!

ME: Hey, weren't you peeing when I left an hour ago.
GARETH FROM THE OFFICE: (In heavy accent) Yeah, I guess we have the same cock.
ME: (Shocked) What???
GARETH FROM THE OFFICE: Clock.
ME: Oh, Clock! With an L!
GARETH FROM THE OFFICE: (Laughing) Yeah.
ME: Oh, that makes much more sense.
(Gareth From The Office goes to leave)
GARETH FROM THE OFFICE: I'll see you next time I pee!
ME: Is an hour good for you?
GARETH FROM THE OFFICE: It's a date.

--opus

posted by opus  at 11:56 AM

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Racecar! 


Racecar!
Originally uploaded by opusmo.
A reminder that under the new USAPatriot Act (House Resolution 3162) every American is required to see Racecar, a frantic sketch comedy show featuring Opus Moreschi and Josh Jenisch. You only have two more chances to see this show, and if you do not you may just come under the suspiciously darting eyes of the Justice Department.

Racecar!
Friday March 11th and Friday March 18th
8pm Sharp!

The Improv Olympic West
6366 Hollywood Blvd
Hollywood, CA
www.iowest.com

I'll see you there... unless you're a terrorist.

posted by opus  at 11:48 AM

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Two Of Four Of Hearts 


Two Of Four Of Hearts
Originally uploaded by opusmo.
I was walking down the street on my birthday on the way to an establishment in which I might order some adult beverages. I noticed some playing cards strewn about the ground, so I picked one up, a four of hearts, and asked my friends, "Is THIS your card?" Laughs all around. They had to laugh, it was my birthday.

I pocketed said card, continued on my way, and had a lovely evening. Then, two days later, in a completely different part of town, I'm walking around. I look down in the middle of a sidewalk, with nothing else around. Another four of hearts.

That's the best fuckin' magic trick I've ever seen.

posted by opus  at 4:17 PM

Monday, March 07, 2005

My Mom And Me 


My mom and me
Originally uploaded by opusmo.
My Mom called to ask why she wasn't on my website. Now she is.
Remember: There wouldn't be a yomomma without my momma. Hi Mom!

posted by opus  at 10:56 AM

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Hey! This is cool, the short I posted about below has been featured by Screenhead, a pretty kickass site in its own right.

Also, Eric's name is spelled Erik. Sorry Eriq!

--opus

posted by opus  at 10:58 AM

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Lookit! Lookit!



I wrote this script a while back and my friend Josh put his voice to it and then my friend Eric animated it. Now I am out of friends but I have an awesome short animated film to show for it.

It's part of my upcoming sketch comedy show called "Racecar". More details are on the page for the movie.

Viva Los Lincoln!

--opus

posted by opus  at 12:57 PM

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Scam The Man Part II 


super sized shwag bag
Originally uploaded by opusmo.
Emboldened by my experience on the subway (see below) and a few post-show drinks at the Improv Olympic I moved on to bigger, better prey.

It was Oscar night, and hollywood alive with people, buzzing from party to party like tuxedo-clad hummingbirds. One small party was being held right down the way from the Improv Olympic, at a club called Cinespace. It was for the Oscar-nominated documentary "Super Size Me"

As people left the party they'd walk up to a dude standing near a car that was stuffed with bags. Smarmy producer-types and their botoxed arm candy were walking up to the guy and getting these bags that said "Super Sized Shwag Bag" on the side.

I cursed the fact that for the first time in several weeks I wasn't wearing my normal necktie. I had on a nice sweater and button-down shirt, though, so I handed my less-nice Worldwide Pants letterjacket to a friend and strolled right up.

I held out my hand with a bored, disaffected look on my face. The guy eyed me for a moment. "Did you come from in there?" he asked. "Oh, yeah" I said, as if it were a rediculous question. He handed me the bag.

As we walked away I tallied my goodies. Here's what the bag contained:

- A Nike AM/FM Radio
- An Independence Air Model Plane
- One 16.9 oz bottle of Penta H20 Ultra Premium Purified Drinking Water
- A Gift Certificate for one year's membership to Bally's Total Fitness
- A Gift Certificate for one round-trip ticket on Independence Air
- 12 coupons each for one carton of Dreyer's Slow Churned Light Ice Cream
- One large Newcastle beer (given to my friend Jason who likes beer)
- One set of Bath Beads (given to my friend Tiffany who likes baths)
- One keychain that reads "My Big Fat Independent Movie"
- One sticker that reads "I am not normal"
- One Emergen-C Cold & Flu Season Booster Pack
- One bottle of Everglo liquor (vodka, tequila, ginsing and caffeine)
- An X-Men Legends Playstation 2 game
- A DVD of "Red"
- A DVD of "This Girl's Life"
- A DVD of "Faith Rewarded: The Historic Season of the 2004 Boston Red Sox"
- A DVD of "The Ultimate Truth"
- A DVD of "Super Size Me"

I have scammed the man and now I shall enjoy my booty. No, not that kind of booty. Pervert.

--opus

posted by opus  at 1:27 PM

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