Thursday, October 28, 2004

Beardsperiment

Well, my lack of a computer has completely hindered my latest plan. I wanted to have a special protest to show my support for Kerry and my conviction about the upcoming election. So I devised a plan - I would not shave until Kerry won the presidency. I called this plan "Facial Hair for Kerry!". The exclamation mark is manditory.

So the plan was to have a new photo of my scrawny and scraggly beard posted every day. Then my computer died. Luckily, the dream did not. I haven't shaven in nearly a week (except the neck hair, because that gets scratchy). And I will not shave until Kerry gives his acceptance speech. I am that committed. And I'm saving good money. Do you realize how much those Mach 3 razor blades are going for these days?

There are some who say that, without the power the the daily photo update would bring, I am really doing nothing but cutting a few minutes off of my morning ritual. So this weekend some friends and I are forgoing the traditional Halloween celebrations to travel to Nevada, the closest swing state, to campaign for Kerry.

So if you live in Nevada, and you see a hairy-faced young fella knocking on your door on Halloween day, it's not a kid dressed as the Wolfman, and he doesn't want candy. It's me, and I want you to vote for Kerry. Every single vote counts.

Although, seriously, if you have any extra candy, I'll take that too.

--opus

posted by opus  at 10:46 AM

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Suddenly Amish

It's what every geek dreads, and what everybody else would dread if they only knew. Hard drives will all eventually fail - it's entropy in action. I just didn't expect mine to die last night.

I wasn't sure it was a hard drive failure until, after a few failed restarts, my computer started emitting sounds like it was using a series of large rusty gears to grind the bones of small woodland animals. I managed to boot off of an external drive and spent the better part of two hours trying to backup my material. I would hold my laptop in the air and tilt it this way and that, trying to get the grinding noise to stop in order to let the hard drive spin enough to access the files I wanted to save.

Long story short: my computer's kaput. So lend me some slack in responding to emails, etc. Also, lend me some candy and backrubs - I could use it.


--opus

posted by opus  at 1:01 PM

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Dear Moviegoers

If you're looking for a film to see after you've run for the sanitized satire of Team America: World Police, do me a favor and check out The Final Cut. The movie was written and directed by my friend Omar Naim, and it's a twisty-turny sci-fi thriller featuring Robin Williams and Jim Caviezel. I begged Omar to call it "Mork N' Jesus" but he just wouldn't relent.

Not only is it a good film, but Omar's a good friend, and I want to support them both. Go forth, movie-watching public, and check it out at a theater near you!

--opus

posted by opus  at 7:22 PM

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Meet "Happy" 


CIMG0632.JPG
Originally uploaded by opusmo.
One of the elements of the show I was working on was going to be a short attention span showcase, where Alf would stop the interview and throw to a performer, who would have ten or fifteen seconds to do his or her thing. I wanted to call it "Fifteen Seconds of Something" but the producers, in their infinite wisdom, named it the much blander "Random Showcase"

The fist was to be a man named "Happy" whose talent was tap-dancing while in roller skates. During our first rehersal, he not only couldn't tap-dance, he actually fell down twice. Not a mere slip, but a full-on, legs-in-the-air butt flop.

The stagehands led him to a chair for him to rest as the producers figured out what to do. Soon after I took this photo, he was sent home and the "Random Showcase" element was removed from the show.

I get the impression that this poor old guy used to be able to do his trick, 20 years ago, and felt like he still could. The guy's pushing 80, and he's still chasing after a small sliver of fame. Sadder still, producers were thinking they might keep him in the show, and let him fall down for laughs. And saddest of all, I have absolutely no doubt in my mind this guy would have done it. Just to be on TV.

Reminds me of the joke about the guy whose job it was to clean up mounds of elephant shit in the circus. Somebody asks him if he wants to quit and he says "What, and leave show biz?"

--opus

posted by opus  at 3:13 PM

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Howdy, Doody 


CIMG0613.JPG
Originally uploaded by opusmo.
The producer of my show is a puppet enthusiast. He collects the things, and recently got this spare Howdy Doody head, which is creepy as hell. I took this photo and now, honestly, it's one of the freakiest things I've ever seen. I half expect the eyes to open and it to start speaking in tongues.

It haunts my nightmares, so I figured I'd share it with you and allow it to creep all y'all out instead. Good luck sleeping!

--opus

posted by opus  at 10:09 AM

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Weird Day

Yesterday, I was asked to get on the phone with show-biz legend Ed McMahon as he pitched comedy ideas for the show. I fought the urge to yell "Hey-o! Funny stuff, sir!" after every sentence. He kept insisting I call him Ed, I kept nervously calling him Mr. McMahon.

Then later in the day, I acted in a sketch opposite Alf. I played a writer (what a shock) being chewed out by my boss. It was pretty much just a normal day for me, except it was on tape. And instead of a tanned jewish producer, my boss was a furry alien puppet.

When this job is over, and my life is without strangeness, that's going to seem very very weird to me.

--opus

posted by opus  at 7:23 PM

Friday, October 01, 2004

Overheard At The Pixies Concert

First 20 Year Old Kid: I was the one who started going to thrift stores, man.
Second 20 Year Old Kid: What do you mean?
First 20 Year Old Kid: I was going to Salvation Army in, like, Junior year.
Second 20 year Old Kid: No way.
First 20 year Old Kid: Yeah, everybody else just totally followed me.

Wow. Good thing that kid started going to Salvation Army; it must have been hard for them to weather those decades without a single customer.

--opus

posted by opus  at 9:27 AM

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